Creating Rapport – That Hansel Is So Hot Right Now!

“Rapport is a quality of the relationship between people. Very simply, rapport is an emotional bond or friendly connection between people based on mutual liking, trust, and a sense that they understand and share each other’s concerns, values, and view of the world in this moment.”

1. It is vital for winning new work!

If people like you and feel that they are trust you will always have an immediate advantage over others.

2. It helps with your day to day activities.

Getting on well with people helps things move a lot more smoothly, gives a good impression for the promotion stakes and lowers stress levels! This helps you stay happy and get things done.

3. It’s great when meeting new people.

We make our minds up about others within a very short period of time of meeting them, and it takes many subsequent encounters to change this view. So, why not make that right impression at the start and save the hassle!

Albert Mehrabian conducted an experiment that indicated that communication is as little as 7% verbal. While this emphasizes the importance of non-verbal communication, I do feel this figure is excessive.

These are from a few online guides that I have found interesting reading, a list of them can be found a the bottom.

A number of these points have appeared in the guide to ‘Giving a Presentation’, building rapport here can really help bring an audience on to your side.

Remember this has nothing to do with manipulation, its about connecting with and understanding people to create a situation where both parties benefit. Empathy can be a very powerful tool.

1. ‘Matching’ and ‘Mirroring’.

This involves copying the other persons communication style. Try to be subtle in replicating:
-How they are standing/sitting (leave a few seconds before following their posture)
-The gestures that they use (when you are talking)
-The language, tone, pattern and volume of their voice
-The rate and depth of their breathing

2. ‘Leading’.

The next stage can help the other party see your point of view. Once rapport has been built between both parties they are more likely to start following you. If they seem rushed and anxious try slowing down and relaxing, putting them at ease.

3. Use their name.

It can feel great when someone says your name. It creates a more personal connection and can be useful in those busy networking events. Make sure you get it right…

4. Listen to them.

It is easy to get caught up in the point you are trying to make which can constrict the other person from expressing themselves. This always seems to happen if you are a bit nervous! Kick back and see what they have to say.

5. Make eye contact.

The presentation rules apply, don’t stare, be confident, and try looking at the bridge of their nose.

6. Put yourself in their shoes.

How are they feeling? What are they thinking? Can you make any empathetic statements? If you know the person you can be much more effective in helping them.

7. Isolate the things you have in common and talk about them.

Ever notice how you get on with people who have the same interests as you? This is a great way to connect with people.

8. Smile and relax.

It works!

9. Use Humour.

This is great, but remember those ‘ yo momma’ jokes may not go down well in a professional office.

10. Be honest.

This is vital for building trust, honesty is a very difficult/impossible thing to fake.

11. Give it a go.

People are incredibly complicated and can be very different. Experience can be a fantastic teacher, the sooner you start learning, the better you will become!